I’ve always kind of prided myself on being able to get along easily with people. I understand how to keep a conversation moving , be engaging, and a good listener. I think I am a good friend, and for the most part keep positive. It’s only been until recently learning to deal with people who might not agree with me, mainly in the workplace. I find myself in a position of dealing with people who come from two opposite ends of the work spectrum, and majority of the time, we don’t see eye to eye. While I understand there are differences in how people do business, I will never put that person down as a person, because of it.
Lately I have had to come to terms that people may not like me. When people tell me you just have to stop caring what people think of you, its always a super hard notion to get into my head. Because generally speaking I want to be liked. I know its unrealistic and I will need to deal with people, especially in the workforce where someone might not want to speak to me.
I am not even close to being there yet, its going to a long journey for me to figure out how to deal with this. Most likely I probably never will, but here are some tips along the way that I have found helped me out. Additionally, here are some pictures of the NYC skyline view from a recent summer work function.
Separate Person & Issue
“Be soft on the person, hard on the issue.” This is something I have taken to very early on. I had a manager once who told me to always kill them with kindness. There is nothing worse than dealing with an individual or team whose constantly making things more difficult for yourself or your team. When addressing its best to remember that it might not be the actual person’s fault, rather just this might be them making the best of it. Especially in situations where you are asking someone to complete a task in order to correct the issue. I find that thanking someone for the work, prior to asking for it, defuses the situation, maybe a little.
Add a Little Humor
There is nothing like a little dry comment to get the conversation back on track. We are living in a world where political/moral views can be polar opposite for the person sitting across the table for you. I feel like everyone is so on edge with everything nowadays, its like people are just gearing up for a battle. Sure, no one wants to hear a lewd joke which could sometimes lead to further aggravation, but a little laughter is a great way to bring people back together. It can soften a tense atmosphere and give a way out for something that will never be agreed upon.
Picking Your Battles
Hello workplace! This is where I am at right now, and this has always been super difficult for me. I have always been an advocate of myself, my team, other teams I work closely with. So, I am always willing to go to battle for them, lately this never seems to sway in my favor. I need to start repeating to myself “Don’t get involved unless you have too.” Sometimes the negatives of one’s particular battle could outweigh the positives, you don’t want to be that person who is always rocking the boat. No one wants to be labeled as counterproductive. When something happens you don’t always want uphill battle when you could have just resolved it yourself and saved everyone a headache and a super long email.
Don’t Take it Personally.